Squishy things = awesome!

Holiday in the Sun

Penguin had this on her blog, so I’ve stolen it to lighten the mood from the regular fire-related posts on here.

RULES:
1. Put your iTunes, Windows Media Player, etc. on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS.

IF SOMEONE SAYS 'ARE YOU OKAY' YOU SAY?
Oh My God (Kaiser Chiefs)

HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF?
So Hot Right Now (Jade McRae)

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Aerodynamic (Daft Punk Remix) (Daft Punk)

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Stripped (Rammstein)

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
Not the Sunscreen (John Safran)

WHAT'S YOUR MOTTO?
Bohemian Like You (Dandy Warhols)

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
The Lark Ascending (Vaughn Williams)

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Bad (Michael Jackson)

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Ruhe Sanft, Mein Holdes Leben (Mozart)

WHAT IS 2 + 2?
Sweater (Eskimo Joe)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Sonne (Rammstein)

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Ein Lied (Rammstein)

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Bad Old Man (Babybird)

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Business Time (Flight of the Conchords)

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Since I First Met You (The Robins)

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Everything In Its Right Place (Christopher O’Riley’s interpretation of Radiohead)

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Buck Dich (Rammstein)

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?
Muscle Museum (Muse)

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Bruise Pristine (Placebo)

WHAT DO YOU WANT RIGHT NOW?
English Country Garden (The Darkness)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Good Morning Starshine (Peter, Paul and Mary)

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
Holiday in the Sun (Sex Pistols)

A) Thank goodness for work calling me to Sydney for today and tomorrow...

B) ...while my town potentially burns to the ground.

Err... Hmm. Hopefully it'll all work out okay. But apparently the serious threat will remain for the rest of the week - particularly Friday. And actually will be a threat until there's rain. Oh please, let there be some rain!!!

I'm glad I'm out of the area, though.

Get kind of sick of locals who are like, "I've been here for 750 years and survived all the bushfires that have ever been through the area. In fact, I'll be remaining here to battle any fire front with a toothpick and a 10-centimetre-long piece of garden hose. You're just being a silly girl for wanting to be somewhere safe! Ha! I laugh in the face of danger!"

It makes me think they'd be the kind of people who would have been like, "It's just some ASH, what ARE you freaking about!?" in Pompeii.

But still... going back to the area tomorrow... I'm not sure what to think. Hopefully things will be okay. But I'm not holding my breath. And not just because I'm not into asphyxia.

I feel so shattered.

Yesterday for work, some work people and I went out to meet with a family who had lost their house and everything they owned in the bushfires on February 7. They had been out for the day and couldn't get back to their property when the fires came through. Sadly, their neighbours were home and lost their lives.

The family were lovely and amazingly brave. What I found amazing is how they spoke about their Christian faith sustaining them through this time. I think a lot of people are blaming God at this time (and admittedly, I'm not sure what to think about it). But they said they were relying on Him, and although there weren't any answers, felt God was helping them through what would be an incredibly hard time.

We had to go the long, long, looong way around to their property, and there was a lot of burnt (and burning) stuff on the way. Houses, trees, paddocks, fencing, etc. It was rather depressing, sobering. There were many houses that had survived the fires in areas where they were completely surrounded by bushland, and it was rather frightening to think about what it would have been like to battle the fires and protect your home in that situation. Particularly when the fires were so intense.

Taking photos through the area felt rather vultureish. But you kind of get over it after a while. It was so sad to be at the remains of the family's house. Twisted metal all charred and warped, ash-gray leaves littering the ground, blackened trees. The ground still felt kind of hot. And then there were the crows. Dozens and dozens of crows calling to each other dismally, flying around like blackened remains of everything else in the area.

There was a little burnt bat lying on the ground, being swarmed over by ants. A slightly-charred page of a book is caught against a bush. Another smaller piece of a page of a book is nestled amongst some leaves, words still legible.

It was depressing, in spite of the resilience of the people.

*sigh*

But life goes on, I suppose. And what else can you do in that situation, other than try to work on getting yourself together to face the future.

Life on the run

Last week, life was lived on the run from bushfires. Ironically, the fires are more of a threat now than they were last week, but y'know. Hopefully will be able to escape in time if things get dire.

But last week's adventures were kind of fun. Apart from the fact that the house and its contents could be burning down and all of that. There's something interesting about life being compacted to a few suitcases and living in some variety of limbo.

At the same time, the limbo is somewhat hellish. I mean, it has the potential for an uncertain, horrifying future. And then it may be fine.

The following are some extracts from my non-diary:

"Watching a French film in a dodgy hotel room. It features a murder, which was rather disturbing. Obviously what happens when you find yourself attracted to strange French men who try to win you over with lion cubs. They are killers! I wish I could speak French. Maybe that's what I shall do if everything burns - get insurance, go to France, learn the language. Become a French pastry chef who solves crime with the assistance of a flamboyant and outrageous drag queen. Crazy Lady and Queeny, the adventures of an insane PI agency..."

* * *

"Really, this running-for-life lark is expensive. And rather depressing. But I swear I saw Sam Newman this morning. And he stared at me, probably because I stared at him first and smirked. I found myself looking at him thinking, 'Fondled any good manequins lately, Mr Newman?' He probably thought I was checking out his sugar lumps."

* * *

"On Friday at Maccas, I bought some fries. The manager served me and when he gave me the chips, took my hand and stroked it, wishing me a beautiful day. It was rather unusual on the whole. Kind of wondered how many sexual harassment suits have been filed against him."

* * *

"Living a life disconnected from my own. But I loved the disconnect, somehow. Rather energising, not having the monotony of what life has been for the past x years. My God, my life really HAS been that boring. I don't want to lose my house and possessions, though!"

^ Gangang cockatoo - one of three visiting lately. Not overly shy, which is nice, as you can get sort of close to them.

In other thoughts, shouldn't laugh at "Am I ever gonna see your face again..." accompanying Mr Asia chopping the head off someone in Underbelly. Definitely overtired when something like that amuses me.

Fires still a threat, but at home currently.

Not the most comfortable feeling, to say the least. I just wish it would rain, but that doesn't look likely at all. May have to resort to raindance and sacrificing a packet of Tim Tams.

This morning looks promising at least :)

I can tell I'm getting nowhere near enough sleep.

This morning in the car, while drinking coffee from Maccas, this conversation occurred:

Me, after pondering the writing on the side of the disposable coffee cup thing: I'm not sure I like coffee that talks at me.
Larie: *waaaaaaahahahahahahahaha*

*yawns prodigiously*

Just while I think about it, may I just say how much I love the CFA? And all firefighters, actually. They do a massively fantastic job, and are terribly brave.

Ut-oh...

You know there's something wrong when the Channel 9 helicopter lands on the oval of your local town. Went back as quickly as I could to the office and checked the CFA and DSE websites. Nothing much on them.

Then I checked the ABC website.

There's an article on there about how two of the main fires are likely to join up and make an uber-fire. Join up over the valley, too, by the way. The valley with my town in it. The town with lots of tall trees and gullies and dry, dry stuff. Where there's currently only one way out of and a fire meeting up would block that exit.

Mwarrghh!!

>.<

Run away!!!

*ahem*

So again, we'll be leaving town tonight. We'll probably come back for work tomorrow, depending on the situation, and then head back out of town after that. On the weekend, we'll be staying well away. I do not like the idea of being char-grilled. Not that I like the idea of maybe losing the house, but I relish the idea of a flaming, horrible death even less.

Oh my God.

You would not believe this. But apparently someone's decided to go all Pat Robertson, post 9/11. Which is odd, because Kris and I were wondering how long it would take someone to do it earlier today.

Quite frankly, Danny Nalliah can go and get stuffed.*

And now I think I have some idea of what I might write about for something I have to get done for work. Grr.

Donations for victims of the bushfire crisis in Victoria can be made via:
www.redcross.org.au
www.salvationarmy.org.au/donations

*"Stuffed" is the polite version, obviously.

Some photos

^ First two pix from last evening, third pic from this morning.

Black Sabbath

You've probably seen stuff on the news about the fires in Victoria. The long and short of it is, they're bad. Very bad. And they've been around the area I live in. On Saturday, one of my friends and I went down to the city to escape the heat. Watched a couple movies, enjoyed the air conditioning and then decided to head home around 9pm, seeing as it was cooler by then after the absolute baking hell of the day.

The sky was black, and not just because it was getting dark. Enormous clouds of smoke were covering the valley, and a vivid orange glow was being cast up by flames we could see kilometres away. And it was in between us and home. So after talking with my Mum and Dad and calling some other people, we decided to find a place to stay in town.

Spent the weekend at a motel room, which had a suspicious lot of mirrors. And a notice about making sure "visitors" leave by 10.30pm. But it was somewhere to stay, and a somewhere that wasn't likely to result in us burning to death. We stayed glued to the news over the weekend and in contact with the Bushfire Information Line, as well as friends who were staying in the area.

Anyway. This morning we headed back up to home. The terrifying thing was all the burnt pieces of branches, leaves, bark and so on that were around the house, obviously blown from the firefront by the insane wind we had on Saturday. It's safe enough for the time being, but we're prepared to leave at any time if things get bad.

And it looks like they will. I spoke with my neighbour this morning, who said the fire is predicted as being likely to be in this area by Thursday. His parents have lost their home in Kinglake, and their neighbour is missing, presumed dead - one of the many who have been killed. Another friend was telling me that he's lost some of his friends who lived in St Andrews.

It's horrible to think that were it not for the wind change, there probably would have been no home to return to. But then that may not matter, because of the fires still burning out of control in the area. And the big fire might turn back and end up here.

It's a terrible situation.

But the car is packed with the most crucial, absolutely vital things and hopefully we'll be safe. Although I know there's still stuff I want to take with me. Such as the entire house. But it's amazing when you're in this sort of situation and know you can only take a couple suitcases worth of stuff how clear it becomes about most possessions. And how heart-breaking it is with the larger items that cannot fit in a car, but are worth so much to you.

Hopefully people who are missing family and friends can be reunited with them, insurance companies pay up, the fires can be brought under control and no more lives are lost and properties destroyed.

Praying my house and everything will be okay in this time.

But I'm terrified.

^ The random cat.

He really is totally mental.

Last time he visited, he spent time lying on the rug, licking one of the legs of the futon. He's also been obsessed with licking my hairbrush, the crutches and all sorts of things. In addition to that, in December when it was cold, he tried to crawl into the fireplace. While it was blazing away merrily. Probably Mad Cat Disease.

In other thoughts, the Sniff and Stiff ads make me hope the piano lid falls down very hard and very fast.

NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

"I've got a bad feeling about this, Rex..."

I was watching Rex in Rome tonight.

And...

And...

He...

Died!?!?

He was shot and (apparently) killed!

I immediately burst into tears. After the crying had subsided to sniffles, I called my Mum. She'd been crying over it, too, which made me end up crying all over again. Feel rather silly about it, but it's Rexy. You can't kill him off! I suppose I'm so attached to the character because I've watched the show for so long.

Poor Rexy :(

I do not like being awake until 1.30am or so with my ankle being PAAAAAAAAINFUL. Particularly because I have to be up at 6.30am to get ready for work.

Last night/this morning, I slathered Deep Heat on it to try to make it better, and instead it just made it painful AND hot. Not to mention the smell of Deep Heat. It was like an old person was in my bedroom, hiding mothballs in various places.

Do not like :(

Just some random stuff from December/January, seeing as I haven't been posting much lately on the ol' blog.


^ I love my new shelf thing! Dad built it for me when he was down here and it's seriously awesome. Maybe I just haven't been out enough lately and small things are impressing me easily... But really, it's great. The DVDs/CDs were kind of taking over the area where the TV is and now I have shelves to keep them all in order. Provided that I don't buy too many more... ;)


^ Also decided to turn the linnen press door into a wee photo gallery thing. Actually, I might end up doing the same to the rest of the doors. They're all painted in an odd ultra-high-gloss paint, which is perfect for blu-tack.

The thing I find most hilarious is that I've always been puzzled by the doors. They really don't match the house at all (a selling point, no?). And then a few weeks ago before my neighbours moved, Mum found out from them that one of the guys who used to live here laid low (while high) during the day and then at night they'd hear all sorts of crashing and thumping when he was down.

Turns out he had chopped up all the doors, as well as ripping up skirting boards and stuff, to burn because he felt the cold. Or the imaginary cold. Whatever it was, that's why the original doors from the house are no longer.

Although that really, really doesn't explain the enormous random screen door under the house. Which I really must haul out and put out for hard rubbish collection.

But anyway. My house = more interesting than I'd thought it was. And that's not all. There were a whole lot of other cracked-out people who lived here. Which you can just see increasing the value of the house as I type, can't you. But it's been under "normal" ownership for quite a while now. Still, life is never dull.

Seven weeks

Ugh... Still so ridiculously hot.

Although not as bad as it has been.

Still unimpressed by heatwaves. I cannot wait for Winter.

Today's the seventh week of having a broken leg. Mum left this morning to head back home after being here for nearly seven weeks. It was so good having her here to look after me :)

Still can't walk properly (or without a camwalker), but the physio thinks things are going well. So it's progressing. Slowly. That said, he was a torture master on Friday. Managed to resist screaming and didn't rip shreds in the table thing with my nails, but there were a couple moments where it was close.

However, after a while, it does get to the point where the endorphins kick in and it's actually not so bad. Lying on the table with the physio wrangling with my ankle, I thought of the torture section of Casino Royale (the book, not the movie, mainly because the movie ended up infuriating me). Random.

In short: leg still sore, weather still hot.

But I have corn chips :D

Today's heat-inspired weirdness

Officemate: Del CamWalker, I am your father…
Me: You are? You’re very young.
Officemate: Well, yes, it was the 60s.
Me: And this is botox..?

^ Random flower from the front garden.

Physio = not that scary

I'd been getting looks of total sympathy and/or horror stories about going to the physio throughout the week, but it actually wasn't bad. Or maybe I just have a masochistically high pain threshold.

Physio - boyishly charming with adorably curly hair.

Treatment - not actually that painful. In fact, quite lovely. The only really sore bit is still on the top of my foot, but that's apparently more to do with tendon strain or something.

Exercises - had already been doing some of them, just because it felt right, so I was relieved I'd been doing the right thing.

X-rays - physio impressed with healing.

I'm going back next week, so hopefully I'll make more progress with the exercise and be less reliant on the cam walker thing. Actually, this morning for the first time, I was wandering around without using crutches. Makes the ankle sore, but yay!!!

Plus, in one of those times when I didn't have the camera at hand, I was wearing my devil's horns this morning. The random cat came around for a visit only noticed the horns once he got inside. He backed away, eyes wide as saucers and pupils dilated, looking rather psychotic. Kind of wondered what was going through his mind, other than the breeze.

Hiiiiilarious.

He recovered quite well from the shock to have a scratchunder the chin, hunt around the house and attack Mum's arm. He really is a total nutcase. But I quite like him.

Week Five

So, today is the fifth week of having a broken leg.

I don't recommend it, frankly.

Although it's a great way to strike up conversations with strangers, all of whom want to know what exactly occurred to the leg. And then, more often than not, laugh when you tell them. So I guess that's interesting enough.

Also saw the specialist on Thursday, and he thinks things are progressing well. According to the new X-rays, the bone is healing really well and there's nothing wrong with the top of the foot. The only real issue with the X-rays was managing to get up onto the table using only one leg and my arms and not managing to flash anyone as I did so. Or fall off the table while getting down.

Mostly it's a learning experience, though. You learn that the more you pay for a specialist/surgeon, the less time you'll spend with them. You also learn that Medicare doesn't cover you with payments for seeing said specialist in hospital because you don't have a referral note from your own doctor. Yes, that's right. So if you are going to be rushed to hospital for an emergency, remember to have the foresight to get a referral from your local doctor. Just in case...

I'm managing to get around more on crutches, too. Navigated an entire shopping centre on Friday, along with the carpark. But on the whole, it's restrictive. You have to think about where you're going, what stairs there are or whether there's uneven ground or anything. And then keep an eye on the ground at all times (an excellent way for finding random coins actually).

Anyhoodle.

The long and short of it is that there's another three weeks of cam walker for me. And physio and so on. Argh. Will post some photos of it later.

In cleaning my bedroom a bit this evening, I realised I hadn't read anywhere near as many books as I was hoping to over the... err... break. You see, I thought a broken leg would give me some time to catch up on reading, but really, it was mostly tiring and I ended up doing other stuff.

But I did manage to read some books.

My Family And Other Animals by Gerald Durrell - Not quite as amusing as advertised, but quite diverting. Especially loved the description of being chased by a swirling hoard of dogs down the main street, all anxious to get at Roger.

Madame Bovary by Gustave Flaubert - Meh. Minimal sympathy for anyone contained within its pages.

A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens - Loved it.

The Chronicles of Narnia by C S Lewis - Loved reading them all again, although I still really don't like the final book for some reason.

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and Matilda by Roald Dahl - I bought them on the Friday before breaking my leg to see if they were as enjoyable as I remembered them being from childhood. They're still rather cute.

Carpe Jugulum and Hogfather by Terry Pratchett - Hilarious as always.

Father to the Man, The Sacred Diary of Adrian Plass Aged 37 3/4, Bacon Sandwiches and Salvation and A Year At Saint Yorricks by Adrian Plass - I love his style of writing, and it often has me laughing outrageously or nodding my head and thinking, "Yes, I know that feeling." Father to the Man is less humourous, but I like it all the more for it, especially the story Posthumous Cake, which never fails to bring a tear to my eye.

The Faraway Tree series by Enid Blyton - My absolute favourite books ever as a child and I am willing to admit that I read them at least once a year. Or more. Although it reminds me that I haven't read The Wishing Chair books for a while.

The Light Princess and Other Stories by George MacDonald - I LOVE the story of The Golden Key and could read it again and again.

The Story of My Life by Giacomo Casanova - Meeeehhhhhh.

Status Anxiety by Alain de Botton - Not that I'm tempted to go construct a little cabin in the woods from recycled materials and live there for a year and I probably won't give up shopping, but I like this book and its challenges.

Also started reading Meditations by Marcus Aurelius, a number of Pablo Neruda's poems about his home country, some of the Grimms fairytale collection, a couple of Dickens's short stories/monologues and the Christmas section from The Pickwick Papers, pondered finishing Anna Karenina (but remembered how interminably dull it is) and just generally didn't pick up as many new books as I'd hoped to read.

In addition to not getting to read all that much, I never did any painting at all, which I had hoped to do. Oh well. Guess there's always next holidays or something. Or the long weekend...

The 16

Okay, I’m finally doing it after getting distracted for so long about it.

Rules: Once you’ve been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 16 random things, facts, habits or goals about you. At the end choose 16 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, its because I want to know more about you.

1. Although I’m mostly very open, I play a number of my cards very close to my chest. A few people know what’s on some those, but they don’t know each other. Useful, really.

2. I love the colour black. Them giving me a black cam walker first up meant I didn’t have to ask for one.

3. Summer sucks. Apart from the summer fruit. Mangoes… Mmmm.

4. There is a deep amount of love in my heart for Bunnings, with absolutely no reason. I don’t even like DIY, apart from painting.

5. As I get older, I become more indifferent to things I thought I’d always be interested in…

6. …and more passionate about other things that aren’t what I expected to become interested in.

7. The psychotic mood swings of the random cat make me glad he’s not mine. And extra glad he’s not a child who’s mine. You can’t shut them out on the veranda when you get sick of them. Well. Not without getting visits from DHS.

8. Part of me still wants to be a doctor.

9. I’ve never smoked or tried drugs. I obviously wasn’t a normal teen.

10. My life is very reliant on music and I probably listen to more hours of it per day than is good for my ears. Plus I love to sing.

11. Older men have always appealed to me – the “youngest” guy I’ve dated was eight years older than me.

12. People may know about my shoe collection and think that shoes hold a special place in my life. They don’t.

13. Rammstein - *squeeeeals*

14. The trip to Germany and England with my family was probably the best thing ever. Although crossing the Simpson Desert was also awesome.

15. Photography has become a surprisingly large part my life.

16. I hate seeing birds in cages.

I now condemn Taylor, Kez, Deb, Kaisa and Clare to completing this task.

This is the result of two very, very different conversations colliding in the office today:

Officemate: "My balls are already taken!"
Copyeditor: "I do like the feel of them, but I don't go rubbing my face on them."
Me: *practically falls off chair laughing*

For further information, the officemate received a basketball, a soccer ball, volleyball and football for Christmas. The copyeditor was talking about a conversation she was having on iChat about the feel of clothing on your face.

So wrong. So funny. So glad I'm at work.

^ Walking in bushland with broken leg degree of difficulty: 9.5. But worth it to get some photos of these lovely ferns.

^ The bruising after taking the cast off on Christmas Eve.

Not quite as spectacular as a few days after that. Thankfully the swelling reduced as the bruising increased, although the muscle tone has also departed so I've got a skinny, white leg. A very skinny, very white leg.

Had the nicest dream the other night that the cast was off and I was walking like normal, which was delightful. I'm a little worried about the healing process and about whether or not I'll be able to wear heels again soon (or if at all - eek - a prospect that fills me with dread).

Random photos

Fetish ahoy

Let it never be said that I do not cater to fetishes.

Over the years, I've had people visiting my blog who have foot fetishes, seatbelt fetishes and strange thoughts about Santa and bondage.

And now apparently there's a thing about women in casts, which I've been linked on. So that's interesting. And explains the ginormous spike in blog visits for the day.

So... err... Yes.

Remember, casts/cam walkers aren't as much fun as they look. That's all I have to say about it. Also, life is never dull or uninteresting, even when it's been a very quiet period of life thanks to the broken leg.

Observations on breaking a leg - the good

> My family. They've been looking after me. And doing all of the things that I'd planned to do over the holidays. Will have to buy them something nice or create something fantastic to say thanks once I'm up and about again properly.

> Zipping around Bunnings in a wheelchair is ridiculously fun.

> Having not one but TWO hot doctors fix my leg, asisted by lovely nurses who were all amusing and sweet and reassuring. Of course, the time I meet hot doctors is the time I am not looking my best.

> Morphine, oxycontin and chocolate mousse.

> The gorgeous flowers from the people at work, along with the lovely bunch from people associated with our work (thanks, Melody!).

> My neighbours. They were amazing and I'm going to miss them when they move in a couple days. But they've got great things in store for this year and I can't think of anyone more deserving.

> My phone miraculously lasting from Sunday to Wednesday in hospital with regular use and me sending out loads of SMSs and stuff in my boredom. It flashed up with "Low Battery" within minutes of me hobbling in the door at home.

> Getting random calls from people just to check up on how I'm going.

> Some amusing conversations that have arisen from random strangers approaching me to ask how the leg breaking happened. Including being challenged to a race by an old guy who was also on crutches.

Observations on breaking a leg - the bad

> It sucks. Sucks great big hairy goat balls.

> Cam walkers are much better than casts. But it's still a job getting anywhere and you can't really do all that much once you're there. It quite puts a halt to my big plans for the holidays to have worked on the garden, done more painting in the house, do the decking, etc.

> The bruising has been spectacular, but is fading now. I should post some photos sometime soon to traumatise you all.

> Crutches are annoying.

> I'm amazed at how many strangers come up to me in shops, on the street, etc to ask what I did to my leg. And then many of them laugh when I tell them how. Wonder how amusing they'd find it if they'd done it. Or if I smacked them about the ears with a crutch.

> I'm missing Kaisa and Pete's wedding thanks to it :(

> I've really gotten nothing done at all *sigh*

> Also, if anyone else makes comments they think are amusing about "breaking a leg" or puns along those lines or whatever, please bear in mind I have heard them before. A number of times. This will help you understand why I will give you a look of pure unimpressed-ness.

> Being told a cast is "sexy" by a guy I know and asked if we could hook up. My immediate thoughts were, "Run... Err... Hobble away!" Disturbing. And kinda wrong. But also somehow kind of funny.