Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Merry Christmas?

In other news, you would not believe the number of people I've had coming to my blog googling "Bondage Santa" or "Santa Bondage" in the past month and it's somewhat disturbing.

Obviously there's a segment of the community where Santa isn't safe to go down their chimneys for fear of being hog-tied, flogged and molested.

The world is a freaky, perverted place.

Where have I been?


Broke my leg the other Sunday falling down the Driveway of Death. Which was intelligent. But at least my neighbour was on hand to drive me to the hospital with my dangly foot, gritting my teeth the whole way. And discovered my neighbour's lovely dog had passed away a couple months ago.

That was the point at which I nearly cried.

Buddy was adorable!

Anyway, we got to the hospital and waited around in Emergency until I got carted away and put on a hospital bed. And then more waiting, thankfully with ice packs that helped to reduce the swelling just a little. I did feel a little sorry for myself until a little kid who'd fallen off a roof and was vomiting blood came in. So that was a bit of perspective.

The nurses and doctor were all lovely and lots of fun. All kinds of joking around trying to come up with reasons for the break that would sound more impressive than the truth.

Then X-rays, and finally merciful drugs. They had to sedate me so they could put the ankle back in place for plastering. Morphine is a magical thing. Woke up after it was done and the plastering had all happened. Then transfering to another hospital and more amusement and joking with the paramedics.

After all that, hospital for a few days.

Home last Wednesday. Hobbling since.

And got a cam walker put on today. Not that it's helping so far, but hopefully by next week I'll be able to put more pressure on it. Maybe more photos of impressive bruising to come.


Merry Christmas!

Monday, December 08, 2008

The Jet-Setting Weekend

Three states in three days... So tired.

Was in Adelaide for just over 24 hours. Quiet, peaceful Adelaide of the serial killers and Botanical Gardens rapist.

But the things that people make fun of Adelaide for aside, it's a great city. Beautiful wide streets. Trees. Only high-rise buildings are in the very heart of the city. The sluggish Torrens. Quiet shops. Saturday morning silence in the city.

Actually, quiet seems to sum up Adelaide. It's a bit country town where people are friendly and relaxed. And I keep running into people who I knew in high school. Yay! I kind of miss going places and randomly running into people I know.

Other things about Adelaide:

> The trees planted to spell JESUS LIVES on a hill on the way in to Adelaide. Never noticed that before.

> FruChocs. Foodland. Toyworld. Farmer's Union ice coffee. All that stuff that's just SA/Adelaide stuff.

> That smell in the parklands. It's like decaying foliage, but in a good way. Deeply earthy and warm and wonderful. I'd forgotten it completely until Saturday. The parklands are still pretty in spite of the drought as well, actually.

> WTF are they doing to the Adelaide Oval? Ugly!

> Peak hour traffic being like Melbourne's outter suburbs.

> The myriad of adult shops. It's like Queensland, but a little less obvious. And a bit more yellow.

> The beachfront. Mmm.

> Many Cocolat stores. Which makes up for no Starbucks and many Gloria Jeans. If we're having chain stuff, then make it nice.

> Beautiful old houses and buildings, especially those in North Adelaide. The churches are gorgeous as well - the one Kim and Steve were married in was adorable.

> That breeze. It's like the parklands smell thing - you forget completely until you're there. It's a lovely cooling breeze right off the sea.

> The bizarre Christmas display out the front of the brewery. And laughing outrageously at the fact that last year after Christmas, there was a flash flood that washed away the whale and three of the seven dwarves. And the whale apparently got chewed on by a shark. Heh.

> Friends. That's the best part, hands down.

So what else was there on the weekend? Flew to South Australia, shopping, conversing, dinner, wandering, laughing, staying up WAY too late, talking more, waking up kinda early to get ready for the wedding, going to the wedding, lunch after w/ Amy, then airport, fly to Sydney, cross Harbour Bridge, take hours to get to parent's place, rise early next morning for graduation, melt in NSW heat and humidity (within minutes of arriving in Sydney, my hair simply went *fwoink!* and refused to behave until I returned to Melbourne), be inordinately proud of my Dad graduating from his MA, lunch with family friends, relaxing briefly after, Dad's Army and much laughter, etc, etc, fly back to Melbourne.

Possibly some sleep in there somewhere. Also, country and western music on public transport really makes me feel really grumpy. Sydney didn't really endear itself to me with that whole humidity, country and western thing at all.

But seeing family made it all better.


Thursday, December 04, 2008

I can haz stalker, kthnxbai?

The weirdest thing happened today.

A couple hours before the end of the day, I got an email forwarded on to me that was part of a feedback comment thing with some work stuff. It's from some random guy and I have no idea who he is.

But apparently he remembers my red, pointy shoes.

It's slightly disturbing.

Tuesday, December 02, 2008

“Once upon a time, there lived a little boy called Nerdloaf. He lived with his grandparents on an alfalfa plantation, as many years ago, his parents had been killed in a tragic Nads hairwand removal accident. But he was happy in spite of the tragedy that had marred his first days on earth. Every morning, he would rise early to tend to the alfalfa, and as he did, he would dream of living a life where he did basically the same thing as he did then. One day, he hoped, he would become the best alfalfa-growing farmer in the valley. But little did he know, this was not to be...”

- Part of a story I've started writing for Clare about Nerdloaf. May just turn it into "The Adventures of Nerdloaf: The Alfalfa-loving Boy."

The best things about today

> The officemate flinging what was left in a cup of water out the window and almost splashing someone below. Nearly cried with laughter as he was lying on the floor saying, "I'm guilty! I'm guilty!" Now he's saying he won't be able to show his face around work any more.

> Copy editor: *singing softly*
Officemate: "Did she say, 'If I die before I wake, at least in heaven I'll be straight'?"
Me: "No, it's 'If I die before I wake, at least in heaven I can skate."
Officemate: "I like my lyrics more."

> Officemate's hairy mango comments. And his moaning while eating it.

> RBA cutting interest rates. Well, it'll be a good thing if the bank passes that on. I'll be happy if they do.

Monday, December 01, 2008

"Dracula!" "Dracula!" "Dracula!" "Scheduled?"

Late last night, I was tucked up in my comfy, warm bed reading Dracula after retiring for the evening.

It’s not scary, but I’d gotten to a rather poignant vampirey moment in the book when suddenly there’s the fluttering of wings against the bedroom window and there’s a very large moth bashing itself against it. Then something scuttles under the house. And seconds later, it starts to rain heavily.


So I SMS’d a few people about it before falling asleep. And I woke up without teeth marks on my neck, in case anyone was wondering.