RBHGM presents: APEC Fashion Suggestions

I was reading something on the ABC's Offbeat section of the news about how they're having some issues with trying to find appropriate outfits for the coming APEC meeting in Sydney. I decided I'd have a bash at some suggestions (and yes, the drawings are kind of bollocks, but they're just rough sketches!), so without further ado (trumpet fanfare aside), Random Black Heart Glitter Moments presents:

Le Aboriginal


With John Howard's recent interest in what's happening in Aboriginal communities, it is possible that Aboriginal-style outfits from the time prior to white settlement (or invasion, as it may be classed) could be something the PM might consider.

Le Convict


And if that doesn't work, then a return to the good ol' convict heritage, which so many people seem to know about around the world and immediately associate with our nation, could be appropriate. It would also be somewhat symbolic, too, of the current situation in which Sydney appears to be prisoner within three-metre fencing.

Le Stockman


Another Australian icon. Niceness.

Le Shearer


Yet another Aussie icon. And although our nation apparently is riding on the back of the mining industry now days rather than the sheep, we probably wouldn't be where we are now without the hard work of farmers and all associated with them. Mercy knows what'll happen if the drought keeps up.

Le Lifesaver


Mreowr. Although this will require all the world leaders at the APEC meeting to have the body of Vladimir Putin...

Le He-Bogan


It's still the 1980s, according to the he-bogan. Nothing beats a mullet, tight acid-wash jeans, a flannel shirt and various other bogan accessories, including year-'round beanies, TAB form guides and, if you're from Elizabeth, the neighbour's DVD player tucked under your arm. Perhaps not entirely appropriate for APEC, but it leads nicely to...

La She-Bogan


Low-slung trackies, general skankiness, fried over-dyed (sometimes extended) hair, you know the sort of thing. Usually seen with Le He-Bogan.

La Supre


You know the sort. Entire Supre outfits, including those things of horror - leggings - and skirts so short the world could be your gynecologist, were it not for the leggings. So maybe we should thank God for leggings. Anyways. Overpriced miniature poorly-made clothing will always sell. Don't think Hellen Clarke would appreciate it, for some reason.

Le Emo


In between MySpazz'ing and hanging around at train stations with other emos (is it the traditional meeting ground or something??), Le Emo can be found wearing tight skinny black jeans, some emo-ific tshirt, random haircuts and general androgyny. Something to share with other APEC nations, something we have in common, perhaps. And it could unite the leaders in writing emotional poems about walls, water cannons and oppression.

Le Wigga


Gah. Why, why, why?? Especially when you live out in the country? Anyways. Do you think this kind of outfit would suit Stephen Harper?

Also, on a more serious note, if J-Ho and the Aussie government are now oh-so-concerned about the environment, carbon emissions, etc, why on earth didn't they ever do anything about the Kyoto Protocol? Surely they'd have to realise how stupid it all sounds to be banging on about how we need to give the environment mouth-to-mouth and some flowers when they've avoided the Kyoto thing all along??