I'm watching Skins and it somehow has reminded me of a conversation I had with the officemates today about "bad boys." It all came about because the officemate asked why girls like said bad boys, and the other officemate and I were trying to provide him with some answers.
Officemate said something about "nice boys finishing last," which is perhaps right to a degree. Isn't there a Green Day song with that title? Or something...
Anyway, the reasons the other officemate and I could think of about the bad boys thing were: what you can't/shouldn't have is more attractive; it's a challenge - some women want to change the guys; the arrogance can be kinda hot; alpha male thing; other girls want them - another challenge; it's sexy; masculinity or the perception thereof; aggressive persuit - they'd be the sort clubbing you over the head and dragging you back to their cave in the days of the fur loincloth; some people don't value what they can have "easily"; the drama; symbolic bad boy thing for rebellion/animal instincts/yada yada, that x factor of some variety...
Not an exhaustive list. There's a truckload more.
And I should say that it's not about the bad boys who are genuinely bad in a Chopper kind of way or something along those lines. Plus there are guys who are just bad in the domestic abuse emotional manipulation sort of way (do not excuse mental-as-a-bent-trumpet for "bad boy"). Or the kind who are utter psychos. Or those who were it not for polite company, one would just describe as a "twat."
I think what the officemate was meaning was the kind of bad boys who are just in it for one thing and know how to charm it out of people (if you're using the Bridget Jones example, it'd be Daniel Cleaver) (ugh, I feel dirty referencing that). And then they're off to the next conquest.
And Tony just got hit by a bus in Skins. Oh.
And Sid's singing. Which is equally unpleasant. And how can Skins be out on DVD when it took about three centuries for any of Shameless to be?
But back to the bad boys.
I guess the main thing is that bad boys are just more interesting than the good ones. Usually the good ones your parents think would be lovely for you are the sort of guys who play Scrabble for some excitement and then have to have a lie down after because it was all a bit too much.
Bad boys can be okay. But usually they're the kind of guy most women realise are worth salivating over somewhat, but not worth dating. You won't change them (unless they're some weird nappy fetish thing going on) (and dating to change people seems ridiculous). You know the bad boy will have other women happening and it'll all end with tears before bedtime. I love the phrase "tears before bedtime."
Nice guys can be a bit dull. There needs to be that balance between nice and bad, they need to have style (Yves Saint Laurent said, "Fashion fades, style is eternal"), they need to be interesting and have some gentlemanly elements.
Mercy knows why I'm thinking of Dave Graney now. I think my mind jumped from gentleman to dapper to hats to Dave (and then to Pinky Beecroft for some enormously obscure reason). Obviously I REALLY need some sleep instead of trying to think about this. At least I'm not thinking about Will Smith and Martin Lawrence.
*Joe Buck, Midnight Cowboy.
9 comments:
"Every girl has to fall for a bad boy, it's the rule. It's the reason so many accountanats get married"
I wish i could remember where i heard that. But its true everyone has a bad boy they fell for, and some of us can't stop falling for them. And yes, dating someone to change them, or dating someone trying to change you is stupid.
Im still trying to get the diaper fetish out of my head.
*lol* Sorry! Just think of hot bad boys instead. Or something like that.
I've heard that quote before, but didn't want to include it. Accountants frighten me. Bad boys are kind of fun to fall for. Plus there's blogfodder in it somewhere if you're into airing dirty laundry in a bloggy fashion. Some people have gotten book contracts out of that.
Obviously I'm doin' the wrong thing with my blog for that... Heh.
and mine, since im too tired to actually update it.
There has to be an option somewhere between bad boys and accountants.
There is. They usually get snapped up pretty quickly, though.
I know a few guys like that and women pretty much throw themselves at them, realising they're the kind of guys their ovaries AND their brains are screaming for.
And nary an accountant in that lot.
I don't believe that there is such a thing as "good boys". Dig down even slightly below the surface and you have an untamed wild man on your hands. Hardly a "good boy". Each man comes with his quirks, his faults, and his pleasures (read: fetishes) but i have yet to meet a man who is a good boy like "mummy would have wanted"...but perhaps i haven't been looking hard enough
Oh, so you mean bad when being "bad"? *lol*
I know some good guys who are the stereotype plus added pocket protectors. There are quite a few more bad boys, really. And quite a lot of middling/average/meh ones.
But yes, everyone has their own quirks, faults, features and so on. Although that doesn't guarantee instant "interesting" status...
You list some cases of what isn't a "bad boy" but what does that leave? Only the fakers (those who pretend to be a bad boy just to get some poontang) and the passive-resistance type hippies (who are smelly hippies). If you are wanting a genuine bad boy then you had better get started on that time machine because they all died out after the 60's (by "genuine bad boy" I'm meaning those like The Fonz and John Travolta's character in Grease).
I'd say I only partially agree with you Kristen. There may not be any "good boys" but the rest aren't "bad boys". They are mostly idiots. See this for an example of what I mean.
If you want a decent guy, I suggest you go for a gamer. The communication may be a little lacking but at least you will know where he is on saturday night.
The problem with gamers is that, although you do know where he is on aSaturday night, he is also more interested in that game than anything he could do with you.
Mmm, John Travolta in Grease...
Sorry, what were we saying? Yes, I don't think are the sort of James Dean bad boys around in any great supply. But then he always seemed more petulant than whatever else.
I agree about the idiot thing, though (those guys all look like clones. Science, this is your fault! ;). Or have mullets. I've seen those aweful fashion-mullets a-plenty lately.
Kind of have to agree with Clare about the gamer thing though. Plus with teh intermanets, it doesn't mean other kinds of *ahem* gaming aren't happening for gamerboy on Saturday nights...
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