Derek had to be put down on Thursday night.

He was having massive fits regularly and the vet thought it would be the best thing to do. There was medication he could have tried, but it would have taken three weeks to a month to kick in and there was no guarantee that it would stop the fits. So on Thursday night, Derek went to sleep.

I think I'm still a bit traumatised by it all, because it just wasn't fair. Yes, I know life isn't fair, but Derek's been the most amazing and wonderful little dog in the entire world. I've never met a dog who was anything like him. Losing him has been like losing a partner. There's just a massive part of me that's not there any more and I don't know what to do.

He was 16 and a half and I'd owned him since he was six weeks old. He's been cremated and I'll get his ashes back in the next couple of days (I think it'll cost about $300 or so, but I can't imagine not having that done and not having him always around).

Thanks to everyone who has sent messages of support. Deb sent me this this morning and it's been making me cry, but it's so lovely:

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

Author unknown