Monday, October 23, 2006

If coffee could talk...

I was talking to Shredder earlier about what it would be like if coffee could talk (because he was saying he likes it because it can't). So far we've come up with:

Cheap coffee: "Drink me! I'm yours! But you won't respect my flavour in the morning!"

Expensive coffee: "Oh, you think you can drink me out of that mug? Please. You have no idea about these things. I'm $5 per 10 grams. PER 10 GRAMS, do you hear me? I deserve better treatment than this. And savour me, dammit!"

Fair trade coffee: "Man, don't let the man get you down and drinking that corporate coffee lord oppression brew, dude!"

Faux-expensive supermarket coffee: "I'm so confused. Am I top-shelf or like the other cheaper ones? Or am I super-cheap like those down there but just dressed in a better packet? I don't understand!"

Commercial coffee: "Blend 43! Have i got the right flavor 4 u!"

Flavoured coffee: "I'm much better than you other coffees in your little boring plain packages. Look at my colours! It's all to attract the laaayydeees..."

International Roast: "Awwright guv! Yor de boss!"

Percolated coffee: "Oooh yes push push harder HARDER! Ohhhhhhhh God yes!"

Instant coffee: "SURPRISE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

6 comments:

kris said...

disturbed :/

Della said...

Aww... I'm sorry! Especially if you have a coffee (or two or three or more) every day and will end up thinking about it.

Well, sorry to a degree... ;)

Dominique said...

ROLF I want coffee!... where is coffee? Why doesn't the coffe we get sound like that? It is more. You have to have me. I am made from a guy that wants to be a barister (or what ever those make coffee people are called).

Della said...

The weird thing is, not long after I read your comment, a guy in the office down the hall made coffee and the smell drifted down here. Mmm...

blue nurse said...

Oh, Adele ... that post was the funniest thing I have read all day!! I love it ... beware of Adele when joined forces with (or is it against?) coffee!!! :D
Shaz

Della said...

Glad you liked it, Shaz! :D Just trying to share the coffee love... *lol*