Ze love song.Ahhh, ze love song. Zis es somezing zat makes me want to be sick ento my own scorn, no? Ze long drawn out varbling of ze tight-panted metrosexual Rod Stewarts of ze world do not please me.
And yet, zey seem to please so many more people 'oo buy Bryan Addams albums, clutching ze tissues as zey sob into zeir pillows in boring suburban bedrooms zat 'ave never seen ze passion of ze lurve num-nums!
Ven you break up viz someone, DO NOT LISTEN TO ZE LOVE SONGS! Zey turn you into a sobbing wreck, which is about as attractif as strappink a large Persian chatte to your 'ead and wearing ze last season's Versace. No-one vill lurve you in zis way, so it es better zat you put on zomething loud and shouty, no?
And ef you are a couple, zen please do not 'ave ze cutesy leettle "Zis es our romance song zat no-one else en ze world 'as ever thought of eevan 'aving to h'express zier lurve for one anozzer vizout ripping our clothes orf en a romantic vay and scaring ze world!" Maybe try somezing original, no? I find nozzing works like ze Rein/Raus by Rammstein in zese moments.
Et saves you from wailing, "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAHHHHHHHHHNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNND AAAAAA
AAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII weeeeeeeeeee-eeeeeeeiiiillll allllllllllways luuuuuuuuuuurve yoooooooooooo-ooooooooooou" drunkenly at ze karaoke after ze breakup.
3 comments:
So that is where I have been going wrong... thanks fake love doctor
[clutching chest and gasping] she's a fake!????
*le gasp!*
No, this is not possible that the Fake French Love Doctor is fake!
Or is it? Hmm... The internet confuses me so much! (jk)
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