*Brit accent* Fings I well 'ate

Oh my GAAAAAAWWWWWWRRRRRRRRD...

There's just been so much in my life that I HATE, HATE, HAAAAAATE lately that it's insane. For a start, I hate that the weather's been colder so painting has been put on the backbrush at the moment. I hate that I haven't been motivated to do much else than think about paint, painting, gardens, house changes...

More than that, I HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE the smoke detector going off its nut in the wee hours of this morning, causing me to wake up and think, "Ohmilord, I'm going to burn and it's so not funny ironic that the first thing that comes to mind is Disco Inferno!"

So I venture forth with fear and trepidation and can't find any smoke or flames or anything whatsoever. By the way, the smoke detector has a relatively new battery, put in the day after New Year's, so you'd think that with it deciding to wake me from my slumber with its cheerful screaming that it wouldn't just be alerting me to the fact that the battery was on the way out.

So I figure I'll look around (after calling my parents in a wee bit of a panic - poor things). Talk about confronting fears!!! I'm quite scared of uncontrolled fire, same with the roofspace (it's like Spider Towers in there... arrghh... those little cretins with their eight beady eyes and salivating poisonous fangs!), and outside in the dark at night. 'Specially with the peeping tom thing that's meant to be going around town.

ANYWAYS... I prod the manhole cover open with a broom, drag out my stepladder thing and clamber up, only to find that it's not quite tall enough for me to see around the roof on, although I can see into it. And there's no smoke up there. So I go back to my room, grab the highest pair of heels I have, pop them on and climb back up the ladder. Nice, no smoke. No flames.

Figure just to be on the safe side, I'll go outside and check out there. Grab the poker (a girl's best grievous bodily harm friend - lightweight enough but packs a punch and has the double gouging bits) and a torch and head outside, poker swung nonchalantly over my shoulder (mess with me buddy and I'll have no hesitation about finding out what colour your insides are). Nothing out there, either. Other than some spiders and a lot of bark, leaves and twigs.

Back inside, take the battery out of the smoke detector, get the new smoke detector out of its packet and set it up, figuring it's probably about time to go to the new-fangled fancy model. It registers nothing. Comforted, I head back to bed after an hour of being up.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGHHHHH.

And then I can't sleep.

And that stupid darn Disco Inferno song is stuck in my head.

Not a fun night at all! :-p

Still, on the other hand, I now totally understand how useful it would be to have a husband or whatever. Then *he* could get up and check everything and be all brave and whatever. Ah well... guess it's a learning experience. Like everything else in life...