Bush and Hitler 'back' stray dog campaign from Ananova.com
Mmmm... now getting visions of George W Bush talking to his doggies...
GWB: Aww, Spot an' Barney, you know I don't feel like nobody loves me no more, 'cept for Condi, but her teeth frighten me, y'know... But I know that you guys are always gonna be happy to see me when I get home an' we can go out and play on the ranch now that that scary lady who was protestin' the oil search in Iraq and how her son had died or something silly like that is gone... *dogs look at him adoringly*
GWB: Now why don't Dick look at me like you guys do? I'da thought by now he'd love me! But no... I feel inse... inse... insecure in that rel-ay-shun-ship even though I do just what he tells me!
*pats dogs*
GWB: Y'all know, I read a book in school the other day called Spot can run. Spot can run! 'Cept he didn't look nothin' like you do, Spot, an' I couldn't make much sense of the book until Condi said I was holdin' it up the wrong way! I just thought all the kids was laughing because they was happy I'd caught a big dic-tay-ter... That was kinda embarrassin'. But I just laughed it off with them an' then had the school bombed. That'll learn 'em and then they'll love me for settin' them free! Gosh darn, I guess you could say I was the best President-shal lib-er-ay-ter ever!
*goes all misty eyed while dogs chew on White House furniture. GWB suddenly notices furniture chewing going on*
GWB: Hey, stop that or I'll have ter bomb you! Ha ha ha ha, y'all know that's my favourite joke!
*picks up dogs and cuddles them*
GWB: You make me so happy even when everyone else is hatin' me an' saying nasty things, like that mean, mean former President Bill Clinton who says I was just lookin' after middle-class people in New Orleans... An' you know that ain't right, 'cos I was lookin' after the upper class people because they have the oil, y'all know? The only oil some o' them not rich people in New Orleans have is in their hair! Ha ha ha ha ha! Geddit?
*dogs look non-plussed*
GWB: Y'all know, none of them people at the UN Summit got that one neither... Even Johnny Howard, who I think is the only other world leader who loves me! An' if I didn't love him so much we could invade Aus-traay-lier for the oil of mass destruction if they have some. But then I don't think I never saw none when I was there on holidays. But they have these things called kang-ger-oos an' y'all gotta see them, they're so cute, but they ain't as cute as you of course. Or Laura! Now if she ain't the cutest lil' thing... I'ma gonna go 'liberate' her now! Ha ha ha..!
*GWB wanders off, humming. Spot returns to chewing the furniture. Barney wees on the carpet*
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