Monday, July 18, 2005

Home, home on the range...

Top ten things you don't want to hear from your real estate agent when you go to settlement on your new home:

1. "I think unexplained crop circles add a unique flair to any home's garden."

2. "Actually, it's only the rear portion of the yard that overlaps the ancient Indian burial ground."

3. "Yes, the last owner did donate the house to the Hell's Angels, but I'm told that the judge has ordered them not to come within 50 feet of it."

4. "One bleeding mirror doesn't necessarily mean it's haunted."

5. "Your neighbor has assured me that, technically, they're not 'killer' bees."

6. "Even if there was a full-scale mudslide, it's unlikely that it would reach as far back as your property."

7. "It's quite common for roaches to grow that big even when not in the presence of radioactivity."

8. "Did you know that the punk band "Grave Robber" holds their practice sessions right next door?"

9. "It's true that they died in the house, but the prosecutor was never actually able to prove it was murder."

10. "You can barely hear the sheet metal factory at night."

5 comments:

kris said...

looking for a new house, delli??

Della said...

*lol* How did you guess??? :-p

Seeing as the lease ends in November, YES!

Now where can I get me a place with an Indian burial ground in the back yard?!

Anonymous said...

lol...i think the whole, "indian burial ground" is supposed to be a BAD thing to have near your property. (just a hint)

Anonymous said...

That's lovely :) I like the roaches...... bwahahahaha

What kinda place are you looking for when the lease runs out?

Della said...

To Kris: What?! Are you serious? I could just invite people I don't like over and send them down to the back of the yard and let the ancient burial ground take care of the rest! *lol*

To Jesus: *teehee* Radioactivity vs Roaches... I'm looking for another house - not to buy. Or I could win the lottery and buy this house. But I see a problem there, as I haven't bought a lottery ticket... hm!